Not every person wants and is interested in solo travel. Everyone is different, and there is no need to compare others. To remind yourself that you are stronger and more confident than others. And finally, you have the capability of doing things everyone did.
Here is the story of when I was studying at the Community College, working on the blog. It wasn’t easy when I wanted to “solo travel.”
As the time approached for another exam, I returned home with photos of my friend Esther who went on a trip. She had a good time, and I was feeling “jealous.” I don’t know what to do since I sometimes have difficulty avoiding looking at a friend’s photo. It was harder to pass up that dream trip, so I messaged her. It was known as “Travel Envy.”
Instead of feeling “abandoned” by my friend’s pictures of Hong Kong, I turned from “Travel Envy to Inspiration – Plan my next adventure.” I also invested in my $1,500, 7-day Hong Kong Trip while studying hard and rewarded myself with a solo trip.
Tip: If you feel jealousy, you are not alone. You can, instead, enjoy life, such as taking a walk, meditating, or doing something enjoyable without urging yourself to compare others. You can also turn your “envious into inspiration.” That helps you to concentrate more rather than worry.
As I got home, I prepared adequately for the conversation with my parents and a picture of the cities I wanted to visit. It was a picture of Hong Kong she went to and enjoying a good time indeed.
The conversation between the parents (be prepared for the disagreement) during the family’s dinner time.
“Hey!”
“How is your exam?”
“It went well.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“Thank you.”
“Mom, I got a surprise.”
“What is a surprise?”
Showing a picture of Hong Kong.
“It is a place I want to go.”
As my mother rolled her eyes, she asked me politely, “Wow, what is that place?”
“The place I wanted to travel – Hong Kong.”
“Let’s talk about this right now.”
And the conversation went on after seeing the picture.
“United; tell me why you want to go there?”
I succinctly answered, “Well, I want to travel there to gain insight and become more independent. I also introduce travel to learn more about the cultural aspects…”
And my parents were nervous and worried about traveling solo.
“Okay, so Hong Kong is far away.”
“Okie Dokie.”
Then my mother asked,
“Who is going with?”
“I am planning a trip solo.”
“Okay, since you are still in school and still concerned about traveling solo abroad, I think you are not ready to travel solo yet.” She said nervously. “So, I may not reassure you to go abroad alone… You alone can travel to Hong Kong with me… or your daddy.”
While everyone has their own opinions, I felt it was “not the end of the world.” So I tried my best not to get upset when my parents first reluctant me to travel solo abroad. And that is normal for parents to feel that way.
Tip: All you have to do is to pack your patience and manage your responsibility.
Keep in mind that they’ll likely concern you and ask you a lot of questions, including:
- “Why do you want to do this?”
- “What makes you want to go there?”
- “What about school/work?”
- “What if you get killed or a victim of crime?”
- “What if you have an emergency, and how will you handle it?”
- “Why do you want to waste your money on travel?”
- “Why on EARTH do you want to go alone?”
- “You get lost in our neighborhood, so what makes you think you’re ready to take on the world?”
Be prepared to answer these questions and remain calm. Practice compassion. That shows you are taking in a challenging conversation at work, school, or everyday life.
And the conversation coincided; my parents believed, “None of your friends or travel influencers have traveled solo,” I then looked at them and said sarcastically, “I accept your point of view.”
On the other hand, my point of view is different. But, unfortunately, that trueness isn’t convincing; I saw several women my age traveling alone, even some of my friends. Still, my parents didn’t believe that.
Still, I did not argue with my parents but also convincingly with different attitudes, such as having a tough conversation.
And after the first conversation, my parents were first reluctant to travel solo, and it was time to try again by taking responsibility, such as finishing my studies at the community college and getting a job. Fortunately, that obstacle may not last long.
May 2016
After gaining my responsibilities, I reward myself with my graduation gift, a dream trip to Hong Kong.
After a long wait, I then had a conversation, and this time, I researched the purpose of the trip.
I asked myself, “What is the purpose of the trip?”
“To have opportunities to grow, learn more about culture, and enhance my confidence. Traveling to Hong Kong or abroad enhances and broadens my knowledge of the culture and traditions. I am still here for my family, friends, co-workers, and others who know me well. Speaking of that, I believe that learning new things will keep me from becoming “deficient” in knowledge, which learning lasts a lifetime. You can see how important things are there today, such as 21st Century Skills. Then, as I return home, I will have a solid knowledge of these cultures, which turns my trip into an educational conversation.”
And my parents supported my decisions.
Just then, my father ask tough questions.
“What makes you want to go there?”
“Well, um, since I finished and graduated from my community college, I got accepted to Temple University as a transfer, and maybe I should plan a trip to Hong Kong, which I anticipated to travel on Winter Break.”
“What about school and work?”
“Since my anticipated travel will be on Winter Break, I chose the date as my time to gain independence, just like when college students were studying abroad and gaining travel and cultural experience…”
Since my graduation gift, I showed an itinerary of Hong Kong and processed another tricky question. Then my father asked me, “What is this?”
“A detailed itinerary in Hong Kong!”
“Okay. So I am going to ask you. Why did you waste money just to travel to Hong Kong?”
“Well, that money is not meant for traveling. I also spent money on groceries, bills, taxes, personal items, etc. So I am not sure I will create this travel budget.”
Showed the travel budget to them, and my parents reassured me a bit, showing that I researched how to travel on a budget.
“Impressive!”
It showed that I took responsibility.
Minutes passed, and my parents were still concerned about solo travel to Hong Kong. Finally, my mother asked, “Is traveling solo safe in Hong Kong for you? Because I may worry about you, traveling solo abroad, you may be unable to handle emergencies.”
Listed the emergency numbers, I showed my parents the importance of emergency contacts.
“United, how will you protect yourself?”
I explain using common knowledge, including registering for the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP) program. This free service allows U.S. citizens and nationals traveling and living abroad to enroll in their trip with the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate.
And my parents were listening to safety evidence regarding solo travel in Hong Kong.
And I researched safety and health before moving on, proving that Hong Kong was safe for many female solo travelers. I have read blogs about tips and warnings too. Finally, I calmly explain how so many travelers, especially solo travelers, have traveled in Hong Kong and have had no issues.
That makes my parents relieved.
Warning: Never respond, “I am fine,” “I am smart,” “Don’t worry,” or “I am mature.” It doesn’t lead anywhere; these responses make your parents worry more than reassure you. Instead, it is best to give them extensive research about safety and health and to show them you did your research.
After a long, challenging conversation, I was finally pleased when my parents reassured me when I did extensive research about a “solo trip to Hong Kong.” And finally, they then prayed for me for the upcoming solo trip.
I concluded, “I would like to thank you for the conversation. That conversation gratitude makes me feel like a grown-up.”
Tips for reassuring your parents to let you go on a solo trip
- Be prepared to have a conversation. Proof that having a challenging discussion is essential. It enables you to accept others’ points of view, and not every fact is true. It is okay to have different opinions.
- Listening and accepting other people’s opinions is another part of being a grown-up. It is okay to bring forward a different opinion based on your opinion or experience.
- Note that arguing over problems makes things worse. It is best to remain calm when facing challenges.
- Do homework and show them that you did all of your work.
During the conversation, my father asked me, “How will you pay for your dream trip?” The solution is to get a job that lets you earn financial independence and live. Also, getting a job means “stepping outside of your comfort zone” and showing “maturity.” Finally, getting a job enables you to achieve the dream you want.
Since I worked as a retailer in 2011 (Thrift Store), I felt happier when I saved up to travel to and from Tucson until I moved back home for formal schooling. Now, I work as a dining server for the geriatric population, earning money to save up.
The responses affect how parents respond; for example, saying that a trip will transform or benefit you is appropriate.
For example, when your parents seriously ask you why you are planning a solo trip, be prepared to answer appropriately.
Appropriate responses
- “Since my trip is about seeing sights, those trips will enhance my personal growth, and when I return, I will be a different person when I change. That trip will make a difference and transform me into a better person.”
- “As I grow, I’d love to discover more about the world. I want to experience different cultures and meet new people while I can.”
- “I will become more independent. I’ll learn to rely on myself and make the most of every situation.”
- “This trip will be great for my mental, physical, and spiritual growth!”
- “Soon, I’ll be starting my career. But, I’d love to take advantage of my freedom to focus on my goals once I return.”
- “I want to learn a new language!”
- “A study abroad experience will look great on my resume!”
These are a few reasons for the substance. The goal is to convince them that this is a mature decision and you’ve really thought about it.
Tip: Give as many details about the purpose of the trip, the benefit, and the conclusion. That gives your parents an impressive response.
Inappropriate responses
- “I am an adult, mature, and can do whatever.”
- “Why not?”
- “Ugh, but it’s SO lame here in *insert your hometown*.”
- “I just want an escape.”
Tip: Those responses are not an intended target, and your parents are convinced that you are not showing maturity.
What to do if your parents were still reluctant to travel solo?
That is an excellent question. I experienced this when it was back in February 2016, just after our first conversation about “solo travel in Hong Kong.”
The main concern was safety. Your parents took great care of you, so they want to love and protect you, no matter what.
My parents first did not know more about solo travel when I had a tough conversation. So instead, I tried these out to show my parents my responsibilities.
Try it out:
- Start small (proof that solo travel prep requires practice and patience). It doesn’t happen overnight.
- Get a job (earn money so I can fund my solo trip). Your parents may not fund your trip. You are fully responsible for the cost and finances.
- Show the planning project (I-Powers Travel Cycle) to your parents. It almost guarantees your parents will be proud that you did the research.
- Demonstrate to them that you show you have grown up. These include learning new skills that benefit you, your family, and your community.
- Be flexible
- Timing (When you’re anticipated to travel)
- Parental considerations (When your parents let your travel solo, it depends on safety locations)
- Patience (When you learn how to deal with obstacles)
And finally, after years of personal growth, here is the overall conversation.
As the pandemic hit, I took a different travel perspective when traveling to Taipei and Singapore solo. I then went on a [virtual] vacation and thought, “I just want to write one.”
As the story [report] climaxes, there is another tough conversation between my parents and me when I eat dinner.
The story report started when I discussed wanting to travel solo again in the post-pandemic.
Earlier this month, I had another conversation at the dinner table about my upcoming solo trip to Singapore. So that is how I responded between my parents and I.
Eating a healthy diet, I eat mindfully while conversing briefly with my parents about an upcoming trip.
“Hooray!”
“United. Why are you excited about it?”
I chuckled, “Why are you asking that for?”
“I’m just saying.”
I then whispered, “Singapore!”
“Why do you want to travel to Singapore?”
“It is a beautiful place. Plus, many solo travelers felt safer than in Hong Kong. Plus, a visa to Singapore isn’t required, nor is a language barrier needed. And it is safer for women too and has so much fun without barriers.”
My parents weren’t convinced but were still concerned about the “solo trip.”
And they smiled neutrally…
I added, “I couldn’t believe that either. No wonder many female solo travelers have a good time traveling alone and still enjoy it.”
“Oh. I gotta.”
My parents then changed the topic and asked, “What about work? Do you have enough vacation time?”
“I already thinking about my dream trip to Singapore because I have accumulated [x] personal days from my job. I have only [x] days left for this year, which may be carried over to 2024. I understand the vacation policies and don’t regret taking my [x] personal days off the job. It is allowed by law to take much personal time off to improve their health and wellness. Plus, I earn money to pay for my airfare, hostel, trips, etc. It is all about taking responsibility.”
My dad’s rolling eyes.
My mother’s confused.
“Oh, okay!” He said sarcastically. “But why are you considering traveling to Singapore when you have work?”
“Well, I have been saving up my money, including my finances, and become responsible for myself… And I managed the time for a week-long vacation, and the boss had no issues. And my trip will be around 5-6 days.”
“Oh, I gotta.”
As my parents already knew my plan for Singapore, my mother asked, “Who are you going with?”
“I am going there solo.”
And my mother said sarcastically, “Okay, so Singapore is so far away. I am concerned about traveling solo abroad because you may be unable to handle emergencies.”
And the conversation continued when I smiled and said, “I understand your concerns, but I already researched Singapore. Plus, I knew that gum is forbidden and had extensively researched the place…”
Then my parents praised, “Wow, I think you got this…”
During the conversation with my parents, I added, “Well, it has been a while since I traveled solo to Taipei, Hong Kong, etc. I enjoyed learning how to take smart risks and not be a person who falls on the wrong wagon. I just want to travel to learn more about the world of satisfying experiences, become more independent, and like to solve problems myself.”
Then my father wanted to show the trip itinerary because he needed a purpose for why I planned a trip.
“Can you show me your trip itinerary for me, please?”
Smiling at them, I showed my parents my detailed itinerary.
“Mom, I will show you the entire trip after dinner so we can talk.”
“Sure. After dinner, can you look at the budget worksheet you just did?”
“Certainly.” I smiled at my pink cheeks.
After dinner, a conversation continued. My parents asked me about safety, “United, since you will be traveling solo, how will you protect yourself?”
I replied with solid knowledge, “I protect myself by carrying a phone, keeping my passport in my bag, and locking my personal belongings in the lockers. I only carry essentials, including my passport, important documents, wallet, small cash, and a phone. And when I go to sleep, I use a bag as a pillow… And finally, my emergency contact numbers abroad… And I also researched where it is dangerous and suitable for visitors… Finally, I revealed that that area I am showing is much more touristy.”
“Okay, but I am still concerned with you traveling solo to Singapore.” My mother said calmly. “But we are not reassured when you travel solo to Malaysia. So instead, I suggested traveling as a group because many women felt that solo travel in Malaysia was dangerous. So do not travel solo to Malaysia, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy, I understand how to travel safely and reliably.”
Fact: It doesn’t mean solo travelers can travel to any country; that is too lenient. It must be balanced between too lenient and too restrictive. Being unable to travel to safer places when it was time is too restrictive. Solo travelers like me set boundaries on where they can or can’t travel to certain areas where crime occurs. In all, setting boundaries teaches responsibilities and limits.
My father responded, “We want you to be safe when traveling abroad safely. That is why your mother and I wanted to ask you about safety.”
Surprisingly, I have yet to make plans to travel to Malaysia and, instead, decided to plan an itinerary only in Singapore.
Then, I showed them all the paperwork I had done for over 2 months.
“Listen to your daddy about it, okay?”
“Thank you, Mom.”
I showed all of the homework and…
“I researched the tips and honed my skills… I researched which places to visit so I don’t end up in dangerous places… Plus, I wanted to stand out from the average person.”
“Oh, gotta.” My father mimicked.
Seconds later, my mother told me that traveling solo could get lost due to the unfamiliarity of the places. And I was in all ears.
“Well, United, I am concerned about traveling solo because we might get worried about getting lost in unfamiliar places. Singapore is so far away.”
I then convinced my parents about the research by planning my activities according to the sheet’s list of activities that fit my personality, interests, and likes.
“Mom, Dad, I researched the activities in Singapore and the places I want to visit…”
Then my parents asked, “How will you get around Singapore.”
“Ahh, I could say Google Maps or ask where? There are subways, buses, etc. It is easier to take a subway since I know how to get there with the direction overhead. Google Maps have comprehensive information from the websites. The subway is called Mass Rail Transit.”
“Okay!”
I then persuaded them how to read signs where I wanted to go.
“Well, public transportation is an easier way to get around and makes me challenge myself, so I am a navigator, that is…”
“Aha. I gotta.”
I waited patiently to see what my parents said about upcoming solo trips.
“Here, I can provide detailed information, showing you how to get around Singapore. I used Google Maps to navigate the places around. I am confident that researching which places are ideal because this itinerary will fit me personally. Since I am an explorer, I just want to visit one place that satisfies me with the bucket list, for example, Gardens by the Bay, Singapore Flyer, Botanic Gardens, Orchard Road, etc.”
I then asked the question and showed a Google Image Search about Gardens by the Bay.
“Dad, what do you think of visiting Gardens by the Bay? It looks pretty at night, doesn’t it?”
“Um, I could say it is beautiful, especially at night. But, since you are traveling solo, I highly don’t recommend going out alone past 8, even though Singapore is a safe city. Also, your mother suggested you not go out alone at night.”
“Thank you, Dad. Many solo female travelers usually don’t go out late at night.”
And that reassured my parents a bit.
I added seconds later,
“That is the bucket list I created months ago and took full responsibility for.”
“Umm, okay!” They are actively listening.
“Mommy, Daddy. I budgeted 28 Singapore Dollars, which is around 21 US dollars. So it is very cheap to visit Gardens by the Bay. I also fit through this kind of savings because I want to save more money in the long run.”
“Wow, sounds like you are a money saver. We are impressed by this idea relating to your spending preferences.”
“Thanks, Mommy and Daddy.”
I recalled figuring out how to get to the place by reading the maps electronically or reading the signs I shared with my parents. So I knew how to get to where her parents planned to visit back in Shenzhen when they didn’t learn to read signs and now know where they are headed.
My parents understand the perspective.
Seconds later, I added.
“Hey guys, look at my completed paperwork. I did this to explore what I need to achieve my life goals. By the way, I answered the question from my interests, “What Activities suit you?” with a response based on my personality. And overall paperwork, there are listed emergency numbers included in the paper I download via phone.”
They smiled and were impressed with my work.
I convinced them.
“I understand the worst-case scenario and know in case of an emergency. I realized that if something difficult happens, such as difficulty finding a place, ask someone who works there for directions. I am trying to locate and solve problems for travel and real-life situations. In fact, solo travel can help me become a problem solver, not just for travel but for life, jobs, situations, etc.”
“United, I understand the situation, but if you take responsibility for yourself and are ready to travel, I will let you go only to safe places. For example, traveling to Malaysia or China is not suitable for solo travel than Singapore. You might need a travel guide or a tour and have someone accompany you.”
“Thank you, Mommy and Daddy, for our conversation. I know this conversation about solo travel is a sensitive topic.”
“Not a problem.”
Proof that many solo travelers did not travel to China because of the language barrier. Unless they were traveling with a group, then that would be okay. As I read the book, “A Trip of One’s Own: Hope, Heartbreak, and Who Traveling Solo Could Change Your Life,” a traveler named Emily Hahm, who was in China, couldn’t find the place she hoped to complement the restaurant “Cha Fing.” She still had a more challenging time finding the restaurant. The driver claimed it was located at Beijing Train Station and it was the “You can’t miss it” (in Chinese), but to no avail. The driver, Ricky, spoke no English, which confused Emily. Then she needs a lot of help. I don’t know what is going to happen. There were several phone calls from locals and the hotel receptionist (without English proficiency), and still waiting for signs of success. In addition, it still challenges her to communicate with the locals regarding how to “get around,” especially when finding “Cha Fing.” Unfortunately, there was no one else to see nor to open. No English names, no phone data, and no information whatsoever. That confusion makes her waste her time just to find a restaurant, which takes several attempts to meet her in front of the restaurant. Finally, Ricky waved at her in front of a Chinese sign.
I can conclude how stressful solo travel in China is compared to Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore, etc. because I rely on Google searches. Google Maps to get around is a piece of cake, especially navigating those places, and it is very convenient.
Tip: It is essential to talk with the parents or loved ones about your upcoming trip to know how to contact them in case of an emergency.
Emergency Info: (Mandatory for any type of traveler)
For Singapore (as a sample), here is the number to include in the emergency kit:
- Emergency: 999
- Police: 999
- Fire and Ambulance: 995
- Non-emergency:
- Ambulance: 1777
- Police Hotline: 1-800-225-0000
- NEA Hotline: 1-800-225-5632
While my parents let me travel solo to Singapore and other safer places, they suggested increased precautions. As a result, I took care of safety, security, and health at home and abroad.
I witnessed,
“I am so happy that even though my parents are concerned about my solo trip, they have told me to be extra careful when traveling abroad since I am the only girl who takes pride in safety, security, health, and other personal obligations. Solo travel has risks and is all about reward and confidence. It also builds the characters needed to build the values of who I am. And I am mature enough to handle these kinds of emergencies. The good news is they wanted me to step outside my comfort zone and act maturely.”
Since it was time to move on, only some parents would agree on their behalf, so it is crucial to think ahead and to be flexible about the decisions. It doesn’t mean you should break parental rules. The parents and family are the most important, so it is important to respect them, even though you don’t really like their opinions. Finally, it is essential to listen to them before saying something different.
I-Powers Travel - Tips, Tricks, and Stories 